His father cooked meth for a motorcycle gang, suffered a brain aneurysm because of the toxic chemicals, and ended up in a coma. Our resident was eight-years-old when his father became a vegetable, and one day while going through his father’s belongings he came across a briefcase containing a giant bag of lemon candy. The little boy ate some quickly realizing that this was not lemon candy, as it was very bitter and tasted terrible. The yellow crystalline drug lay glistening in the bag, this being his first high it felt wonderful; crystal meth became this little boy’s companion while his father lie in a hospital for over a year, holding no comprehension of having a son. What of the little boy’s mother? Decidedly absent, she provided no comfort during this time of need. Leaving her son at the wayside while she stayed at the hospital days on end, she tried desperately to bring back her husband’s memory of his family. Struggling with mental health issues of her own, forever running hot & cold, she left him on his own. Various caregivers came in and out of his life, robbing him of his innocence by sexual molestation and insanely violent acts.

A boy left like that, just about anything could happen, his life became plagued by perilous happenstance.

Hit by a motorcycle at age 7, in a motorcycle accident at age 10, an incendiary house fire, car accident at age 12 which left him epileptic, and emergency surgical facial reconstruction from the accident. Freshman year of high school suffered his first overdose, then a second overdose his senior year, and several more throughout his life. In youth he witnessed two human beings being brutally murdered right before his eyes, the sickening metallic smell of blood forever wrenched in his nostrils.

Young life filled with guns, drugs, murder, and solidarity undoubtedly left him uncomfortable in his own skin, although he always suffered from self-esteem issues he especially felt depressed and anxious after the car accident. In the hospital was where he had his first taste of opiates and they became his comfort and strength.

“It was sad to me that my self-esteem was so low at such a young. I had already began to self destruct. The only thing that I focused on was getting loaded,” he explained. He was tired of feeling inferior, the drugs took him to new highs and he ended up selling drugs and guns to buy things for himself. “I wanted clothes that fit, not hand-me-downs,” he stated with conviction.

At age 18 he was arrested for burglary and possession, he served over a year. Then, a year after he was released he got arrested for theft and fraud; time served was a year and a half. By this time he had become quite an illustrious firearms dealer, affording him a lovely house and car. Even though things seemed extremely smooth sailing, four years pass only for him to lose absolutely everything through gambling and nefarious activities. Homeless, living out of his car and motel surfing, all he cares about is using heroin. “Heroin is something I had to do,” he said.

Suddenly he reached a point, a point where he realized he needed to recover, that’s when he went into a treatment program. After completing treatment he managed over 7 years sobriety, as well as everything that came with it. Once he established himself in a good job as a certified water damage and flood restoration specialist, he moved ahead quickly and developed glowing admiration for his boss (a fellow 12-stepper). It wouldn’t last unfortunately, his boss relapsed one day and with him went our resident’s sobriety as well. Using for another two years, main-lining upwards of three grams of heroin a day, the inherent strife of his relapse left him spiritually robbed. Wanting again what he had once built for himself-the nice house, the car, the stellar job, and the loving girlfriend, he came to Tradition One with nothing left.

Despite having little support from family, our resident has resigned to build his confidence and self-esteem guided by the tools he is learning in the program. Upon starting Step 2, where we come to believe a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, our resident has identified the need for a spiritual relationship. In his recovery plan he has outlined many hobbies, interests, and passions he once enjoyed: mixed martial arts, playing drums, skateboarding, attending church, being a DJ, massage therapy, acquiring employment in flood restoration once again; the possibilities are endless for him. Strength within the house, friendships built with his fellow residents, and brutal self-honesty have been key developments in his recovery here. He wants to be rid of self-doubt and stuffing feelings, he knows very well these things will lead to his demise.

We take each day as it comes, that is all we can do. Healthy sobriety ensures we are able to revisit our passions, lead an enjoyable life, and most importantly to love ourselves. As addicts in early recovery it is difficult to reclaim ourselves from the wretched past, but remembering that we are not our mistakes can help us avoid the darkness of regret so that we may live in the light.

Our resident consistently tells himself, “I know I have another relapse in me, but I don’t have another recovery….my sobriety is number one.”

Odious as his life might have begun, keep in mind the nature of a lotus flower, “the lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud — the obstacles of life and its suffering. The mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter what our stations in life. Whether we have it all or we have nothing, we are all faced with the same obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. If we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one, ” (G.H.).

We’re jubilant to see our resident has begun such a promising life in recovery, growing beautifully from squalid, just like a lotus flower.

JANUARY 30, 2015

Independence was central to this man, a life-long of going it alone had been necessary, he came last year and was overwhelmingly indignant. “I need to change,” was the willingness he held and the driving reason for staying the first few weeks. It was mainly the people around him that drove him into rage, as if he were attempting to beat the world out of his way so that he could move forward. The first month left him hanging by a thread, but something kept him here.

Although spirituality is key to moving forward in the 12-step program of recovery, it is difficult for many to grasp their own concept of a Higher Power. Many have developed what they remember from childhood or what they have established from their own experience, mainly as a negative or exclusive being. Initially our resident viewed his Higher Power as a foe, a powerful being that was similar to a hurricane or tornado. Then, as he began to realize that his own concept of a Higher Power could be helpful instead of harming, the acceptance of spiritual aid became seen in his step work.

Starting to feel a little better with being able to write out his failings and fears, venting his feelings and learning a bit about himself he became even more willing to stay on the path of building himself up in a legitimate manner. He knew if he truly believed and made the decision to succeed he would, after all there is so much more to life than drugs. Because he had disregarded many aspects of moral living and social mindfulness, he committed some serious past crimes including drug sales and auto theft. After experiencing a conscious change our resident seemed resigned to becoming a positive example for his children who had followed in his nefarious footsteps. But all that could be seen was the struggle he faced, and even after he began moving forward and getting on track life on life’s terms pulled him back.

I came to find that he had been sentenced to a year in prison for a past crime, just like that he was gone and there was nothing anybody could say or do except wait. It didn’t seem fair that this man had been working so hard to change himself could all at once find himself back in prison.

Sometimes, no matter what we do we just can’t get ahead. As human beings we are inherently good and we have good intentions, but somewhere along the lines things could get muddled with our thinking. Perhaps situations arise that challenge us to the farthest reaches of our morality. Tradition One is about another chance to make things right, finding a way to get back to the path of goodness and truth. The ones we serve are as damaged goods, if only they can find a way forward the backsliding would cease; at least that’s what we promise. What of those that do almost everything right, take on everything they need to with great strength and good stride; will they still have to suffer consequences, then? Recovery is filled with paradoxes; as alcoholics and addicts we suffer to get well, we die to live, we give away to keep, and we surrender to win.

Finally after the allotted year a representative of the courts called to inquire about his options, we informed them that he had already completed the necessary requirements of our program and impressed upon her our feelings to his case. Of course we understood that at this point he had regained much of the hostility bated previously; even though he was angry he still kept in with the solution and had served his time. Recently he was released into a sober living home and is back on track with a work training program, due to successfully complete soon. This man held strong, and despite the negatives remained faithful to himself and his potential. If anything this story is a testament to the trials and tribulations faced and the strength that we can carry through to face the light in the end of the tunnel.

DECCEMBER 12, 2014

NOVEMBER 17, 2014

Two weeks ago I received a phone call from an individual wanting to find out information about our program. He said he was a veteran and that was twice wounded in combat, retired from the service he was homeless and a chronic alcoholic. I spoke for a good twenty minutes about his situation, he told me that he needed to get into a place, the streets were too difficult for him to justify sobriety. After I explained to him the options of getting a bed immediately he seemed eager to come in and fill out an application, that night when I came home from work my stomach was in knots. Praying that he would make it through the night and come to our office the next morning, but alas he didn’t make it. I didn’t hear from him for two days and I was worried that he wasn’t going to come in. Finally I was able to speak with his former wife, he had divorced her to save her the heartache of being married to a raging alcoholic, immediately it was clear that she was severely concerned about his whereabouts and whether or not he would be coming in to our program. “I last heard from him in Old Town, he was sleeping at the trolley station over the weekend,” I told her. She said she had been driving around all night looking for him but couldn’t find him at all, exhausted she returned home. Two more days passed and finally he called, “I’ll be in tomorrow morning to apply.” Relief swept over me, all we have to do is wait until the morning and he will be in.

I am always grateful when a new resident is brought in, it is a promise of hope and an opportunity for change to new beginnings. Although this is not his first attempt at recovery, and even though in the past nine years he has been through detox forty times before, this is it. Tradition One will stand by this man’s side, we have all been very supportive of this new resident and have done all we can to start him on his path to serenity.

Everyday I come in I make sure to let him know how happy I am that he is here, and every evening before I leave for home I assure he will be here the next morning. When our residents know that there is more keeping them here than a nudge from the judge, when our earnest compassion speaks to the importance of each individual, they will be more inclined to long term success.

NOVEMBER 17, 2014

 Expecting Life Unexpected 

He came to us as a referral from Project In-Reach, a program in San Diego that is especially designed to aid incarcerated individuals with substance abuse and mental health issues. Originally from the East Coast, no family in California, and only two years of experienced employment with no training or technical education. He was first arrested at age 16, 20 months of his life spent locked up, and he was serving his 540 day sentence when someone came to visit him in jail. The man from Project In-Reach arrived completely unexpected, during which time our potential resident had been contemplating his next move. Resigned to return to his life of swindling, identity theft, drugs, alcohol, and defrauding credit; in just 15 months he would be able to put together enough money to live right without a care in the world. Conniving to survive, the fulsome thinking that if he could only last another year of this he wouldn’t have to struggle anymore. Contritely, it is that thinking that buries the best of us, “if only we can hang on in this quicksand we won’t really sink.” They say that it is the definition of insanity to do the same thing dauntlessly over again while expecting different outcomes every time. Having run amok since an early age, despite good intentions, our resident’s future potential rested solely on his inglorious past.

The man from Project In-Reach came to interview him for release into an alcohol and other drug recovery program, consequently our resident declined the opportunity being offered by the stranger. He obviously had other plans, he had already made up his mind to return to his old way of life; so our resident sent the man away.

Luckily there is not stopping the great plan, and the stranger came to visit again, after some time to mull it over our resident decided that he would give Tradition One a try. Once he was released and came to our program it was a bit of a slow start, perhaps his mind was still ensconced in its old way of thinking, but 90 days later he started working and enrolled in school. It might sound like everything happened matter of fact, but it didn’t. He was unsure of the program’s obligations, and initially found a sponsor only because the Addiction Specialist gave him no choice. However, he soon came to realize that with his family on the other side of the country he would need support from people in the rooms of the recovery program. Almost 18 months and I have watched this man grow, our resident has achieved so much in the short time he has been in recovery. I’ve learned in my own recovery that there is strength in your own personal routine, keeping grounded is one major key to staying sober. Almost every morning I see him sign out to make his way through the day, attending school or going to work, and every evening I greet him as he comes home. Studying to become a technical engineer, he holds aspirations to work in civil engineering. Although it is a lot of hard work and takes drive, his mind is set and there is no going back. Taking two math classes this semester to offset the requirements, his ambition is noteworthy. He has achieved great things, and he has a new plan for his future. Rather than waiting to come up, our resident has taken charge and become a contributing member of society. You would never think that he was once a white collar criminal with ambitions to carry on in his plight, as I see him now all that emanates is his radiantly bright future. This is a changed man, he has found his future, let us delight in his freedom!

NOVEMBER 3, 2014

In August last year a middle aged man came seeking our services, broken in his own way and ready to accept responsibility for his mistakes, an alcoholic ready for a solution. I learned he was a widower with an adult son and a mother who refused to acknowledge his existence; “this man has experienced his fair share of loneliness and regret,” I thought to myself as I looked into his sorrowful eyes. Thirty nine years of alcohol abuse, two arrests, and a history of depression and anxiety, the only thing seemingly positive was his open mindedness and willingness to work towards making things better.

At first, things began slowly as he tackled the simple tasks of getting medications, starting the 12-step program process, finding a program sponsor to help him through his steps, and finally applying for employment. Since the relationship with his mother and son seemed so irreparable, it was apparent he had accepted that there would be no future hope of ameliorating ties with them. Despite the unfortunate truth of having no family to sustain him in this difficult time he resisted the urge to numb the painful feelings, instead he plowed even harder into establishing himself. A background as a contractor and maintenance gave him a decent place to start, but there was still the self loathing and downtrodden esteem that held him back from having the confidence to dream big. Humbly beginning at a well-known corporate home improvement store working part time, and starting off simple he soon found himself in a wealth of opportunity he could not imagine. I can pinpoint the exact moment when his life started taking off, the cook at Tradition One had recommended him to a friend for a tile job, that’s when our contractor rediscovered his niche. After completing that job he started establishing himself as an independent contractor again, doing all sorts of remodel jobs and even buying his own truck so he would be more professional. Suddenly, as if over night, he began receiving numerous job offers and enjoyed his pick at contracting projects. Working helped him to see what a talented person he is and provided him with self-esteem and confidence.

Finally, at 90 days of residency he was ready to try again with his son, sending text messages, though he still got no response. He decided that two heart felt letters would better express the amends he so desperately needed to make to both his mother and son. Family reunification is such an invaluable part of the recovery process, it seemed so unfortunate that he could not have that vitality. Then one day, after five months of residency he came into my office absolutely beaming, his son had initiated contact and the letter he had written his mother had had a response. Before she had made it inevitably clear that she wanted nothing to do with him ever again, but now she was willing to come back. That day his eyes which had once held such sorrow now emanated a glow of happiness and content unmatched by anything else, that day he found what he had lost.

Today, this man leaves Tradition One as a successful completion, and an alumni. Although I can’t help but feel a pang of sadness, his new joy and spirit remain the sole cause of our work. His strength, compassion, and will carried him through a seemingly hopeless beginning, but his recovery, positivity, and newly found family acceptance will help him with long-term prosperity.

This is a changed man, he is living in the solution, let us exult for his new life!

OCTOBER 27, 2014

 Opportunity for Opportunities 

It reaffirms why we do what we do when we see residents getting back on track; but it is even more heartwarming when residents start accomplishing things they would have never thought possible. The disease of addiction takes it’s toll on confidence, drive and potential become out of reach; but not for long when on the road to recovery.

Why just last week one of our residents began a training program to become a welder. Unable to keep a job for more than six months at a time in his addiction, he is now on the path to long term success. Despite experiencing an early life of hardships, gang affiliation, suffering from the stigmatizing disease of cocaine, crystal meth, and alcohol addiction his family support has been a crucial lifeline. First arrested at age 21 and subsequently spending a total of 24 months in jail, there seemed to be little hope of coming out on top. With the help of Center for Employment Training he is learning a trade that will make him employable and in turn ensure he has the opportunity to obtain a life as a upstanding member of society, despite his less than admirable history.

Opportunity for Opportunities….Another reason we do what we do!

OCTOBER 23, 2014